So, I just saw The Forbidden Kingdom. And, well, it was really fun. Totally awesome watching Jet Li and Jackie Chan playing around and having fun. Of course, there were totally cool fight scenes and plenty of funny lines and general silliness. So, yeah, I liked it.
There were some interesting things about it. For one, I have no idea where the title The Forbidden Kingdom comes from. I'm tempted to say that the Weinsteins are poking fun at themselves for re-purposing Hong Kong kung fu movies and giving them ridiculous unrelated titles. If that's the case, um, that's kind of weird. But kudos for them for being self aware enough to recognize that they're doing it. Now all they need to do stop giving these types of movies completely random names and we'll move on. On the other hand, maybe there actually was some sort of Forbidden Kingdom somewhere and I just missed it. Yeah, that's probably it.
The most interesting thing, though, was the fact that they felt the need to anchor this movie with a young white male. Yes, that's right. You take pretty much the two most famous and popular martial arts movie stars alive today and put them in a movie together and still feel the need to add a white guy to make sure that it appeals to American audiences. That is sad. Admittedly, they spend the first half of the movie just making fun of that very fact. I mean this literally by the way. Jackie and Jet spend massive amounts of time laughing at poor Michael Angarano (or something like that...the star of Sky High, if you ever saw it, not Shia Lebouef...or something like that...even though he looks kind of like a shorter, stouter version of him in this movie...and that was a terrible use of pronouns, just for the record). In fact, there's one fight where Jackie uses him as a weapon (which is pretty awesome)...and as a cushion on occasion as well.
Of course, they still eventually train him and he becomes of semi-capable fighter or whatever. At least they make the decision to never put him anywhere near the level of those two. He becomes good enough to handle the random henchman, which I guess is the minimum for him to be able to keep up at all. And, of course, he proves his value and blah de blah. They come to respect him and are proud of him and yeah, it doesn't matter.
Anyways, why does it have to be a white kid? Story-wise, there's no reason for it at all. It's literally done entirely to make for easier viewing for white audiences. But that's stupid since we've seen that movies with entirely Asian casts are quite capable of making money at the box office (think of that Crouching Tiger movie or those artsy Jet Li movies...or maybe Memoirs of a Geisha or whatever, I didn't actually watch the full thing so I can't say for sure that there wasn't a random American geisha or something hanging around). So, really, it's just done because the Weinsteins are stupid. I guess we all knew that though, so whatever.
Seriously, though, if I were Jackie Chan and Jet Li, and we were going to star in a movie together, I would want that movie's young star to be some charismatic martial artist who will one day become as renowned as me. I would take this as an opportunity to show off somebody who's going to be a star and put them in front of the whole world. I wouldn't want that role to go to some American kid who has relatively little fighting experience. But that's how it went. Which kind of sucks.
On the other hand, the kid did a decent job in the role, so I have to give him credit for that. Not that he had to do much besides get laughed at, but I don't mind.
I was also a little dissatisfied with the flow of the movie. They kind of had this formula where we started by watching them travel to a new locale (bamboo forest, desert, lake, burned village, cherry blossoms, or whatever), then we had a scene or two with Jackie, Jet, and the kid which were awesome, then we had a pointless, forced, kind of awkward scene with the love interest. And then we were back to traveling. This was typically interspersed with a scene checking up on the bad guys. And that was the vast majority of the movie.
From that description, you can probably tell what made me dissatisfied with the flow of the movie. Yeah, the love interest was completely pointless. Her only reason for existing, at all, was because these movies are required by law to have a kick ass girl who starts out thinking the boy is useless and embarrassing (because he is) but eventually realizes that there's more to him than what she first saw. I mean, even freaking Balls of Fury had to do that, and it's just using ping-pong to make fun of the American martial arts movie form.
I did kind of like how the kid would eventually start hanging out with her at each of the locales because he'd be tired of Jackie and Jet laughing at him and beating him up. So he'd retreat to her while she'd be playing one of those string instrument things and typically be a good boy a sit quietly and listen...okay, and stare at her. But, it was still not really a fun way to develop her character and it was an entirely ineffective way to develop their relationship of sorts.
Of course, having them be sparring partners would be even more clichéd so I guess I shouldn't complain too much. I guess if I were making the movie, I would have had him listen and then try to actually start a conversation with her, maybe even learn about her (while not staring at her). Instead of their way, where he listens and then she randomly volunteers information, probably just to end the awkward silence created by him staring at her. You know what, it would have been better if they just didn't have him staring at her the whole time (at points it honestly seemed like he was drooling a little bit).
But, whatever, what's done is done. The despite these shortcomings, the sheer awesomeness of watching a movie with Jackie Chan and Jet Li easily outweighed them. Most importantly, though, it was clear that they were having tons of fun making this movie and that really comes out while you're watching it. So, yeah, good job guys. You should make another one. Minus that ridiculous Monkey King hair on Jet Li, that was a little much.
That is all.
Francis
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
New Amsterdam Finale
Well, New Amsterdam's over now. I'm not certain, but I'm suspicious that Fox Network has no intention whatsoever of making a second season. To be honest, I don't think they ever did (I think they were embarrassed that they paid for someone to make the first season). But whatever, I wouldn't mind if they let it keep going (read as: I would probably keep watching it). Overall, it was pretty decent.
Structurally, I think I kind of liked it. I'm pretty sure I mentioned this before, but I'm not really a fan of police investigations, so I liked that there was a lot more to the show than that. I liked the period piece interludes, where Amsterdam is invariably seducing/falling in love with another woman. I think they typically worked pretty well and helped to give him a reason to care (since he always seems to care).
I wasn't really into the side plot with him finding the woman of his dreams. The most interesting thing, for me though, was how he simply tossed her aside when he found out it wasn't her (which makes his getting shot in her presence a no-win situation for her: either he dies because she made him lose his immortality or he dumps her because she didn't). In his defense, he can't waste his time on the wrong girl since he believes that the right one must have been present when he had his heart attack. Still, it was surprisingly heartless and cruel of him. I appreciated it.
It did suck that she never believed him when he told her he was 400 years old. I gotta be honest, but that should have been his first clue that she wasn't the right one. I mean, would you want to be with someone who denies that, like, 90% of your life ever happened? Of course not. I have no idea why he put up with her for so long (okay, fine, she was kind of hot).
As for his partner, I'm not sure how I feel about her. She's decently hot, and she's got a pretty kick ass attitude and a swagger about her that's certainly fun to watch (not in a dirty way, mind you). I just don't know what purpose she serves. Admittedly, he basically works alone so she just tags along when he fills her in, so I think she has to wonder what her purpose is as well. But, I guess she fills the role of new comrade in his life who has to slowly be filled in on his history and personality so that the viewers can get caught up. But what happens after that point (which should have been the end of, about, episode four)? Well, we're still waiting.
Also, there's his new boss. She's definitely something. Probably more fun than him, actually. Only, where did she come from? I swear I never saw her introduction (or maybe I wasn't paying attention), but suddenly I started seeing her going around telling Amsterdam what to do and stuff (not that he ever listens to her). I guess she's Cuddy (I have no idea how to spell that name, weird) to his House...but that better not mean he's got some weird, contrived crush on her. That would make me sad, although it would be understandable.
Otherwise, this season ended just about how things are supposed to: back where we all started. Of course, that means that if they do make a second season, they're going to have to come up with a new plot, because the search for his "real" true love is going to get old pretty quick (ha, let's be honest, it was old from the beginning). And, besides, him actually finding his true love would be just about the worst thing that could happen to the show (because then he could die and that would take away the only thing that makes him special). So, I guess we'll just have to see if things ever get to go anywhere else. In any case, this show was way better than Journeyman. And that's all that matters.
That is all.
Francis
Structurally, I think I kind of liked it. I'm pretty sure I mentioned this before, but I'm not really a fan of police investigations, so I liked that there was a lot more to the show than that. I liked the period piece interludes, where Amsterdam is invariably seducing/falling in love with another woman. I think they typically worked pretty well and helped to give him a reason to care (since he always seems to care).
I wasn't really into the side plot with him finding the woman of his dreams. The most interesting thing, for me though, was how he simply tossed her aside when he found out it wasn't her (which makes his getting shot in her presence a no-win situation for her: either he dies because she made him lose his immortality or he dumps her because she didn't). In his defense, he can't waste his time on the wrong girl since he believes that the right one must have been present when he had his heart attack. Still, it was surprisingly heartless and cruel of him. I appreciated it.
It did suck that she never believed him when he told her he was 400 years old. I gotta be honest, but that should have been his first clue that she wasn't the right one. I mean, would you want to be with someone who denies that, like, 90% of your life ever happened? Of course not. I have no idea why he put up with her for so long (okay, fine, she was kind of hot).
As for his partner, I'm not sure how I feel about her. She's decently hot, and she's got a pretty kick ass attitude and a swagger about her that's certainly fun to watch (not in a dirty way, mind you). I just don't know what purpose she serves. Admittedly, he basically works alone so she just tags along when he fills her in, so I think she has to wonder what her purpose is as well. But, I guess she fills the role of new comrade in his life who has to slowly be filled in on his history and personality so that the viewers can get caught up. But what happens after that point (which should have been the end of, about, episode four)? Well, we're still waiting.
Also, there's his new boss. She's definitely something. Probably more fun than him, actually. Only, where did she come from? I swear I never saw her introduction (or maybe I wasn't paying attention), but suddenly I started seeing her going around telling Amsterdam what to do and stuff (not that he ever listens to her). I guess she's Cuddy (I have no idea how to spell that name, weird) to his House...but that better not mean he's got some weird, contrived crush on her. That would make me sad, although it would be understandable.
Otherwise, this season ended just about how things are supposed to: back where we all started. Of course, that means that if they do make a second season, they're going to have to come up with a new plot, because the search for his "real" true love is going to get old pretty quick (ha, let's be honest, it was old from the beginning). And, besides, him actually finding his true love would be just about the worst thing that could happen to the show (because then he could die and that would take away the only thing that makes him special). So, I guess we'll just have to see if things ever get to go anywhere else. In any case, this show was way better than Journeyman. And that's all that matters.
That is all.
Francis
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Portal
Well, I finally got around to playing Portal. Yeah, I'm slow. Oddly, the thing that motivated me was that they're releasing the ending theme song, "Still Alive", on Rock Band for free next week and I wanted to have beaten the game before I got the song. So, I bought The Orange Box and played through Portal (yes, I spent $60 dollars so I wouldn't feel guilty listening to a free song). And, well, it was pretty good.
I mean, I feel like some of the praise might have gone a little far, but it was certainly well done. For one, the writing really was top-notch. Definitely no argument there. I couldn't help but hang on to every single word GLaDOS said. In true Half-Life style, all the story is told during the gameplay, which would make the style more like Shadow of the Colossus than Assassin's Creed. Admittedly, since it's a first person shooter, I guess it's more of a hybrid since you get both player control and camera control (since they're one and the same), however, I'll say that it's closer to Shadow of the Colossus since the concept is closer to that one (retaining control of the player's eyes).
But the important thing was the words she was saying. It was beautifully extraneous, and yet perfectly relevant. Little morsels of information within tons of...well, talking. This is just about the opposite of most games' writing. They either separate important information from the filler or they don't bother with filler at all (my favorite is when they highlight important words, so the player can just read those). Nobody would dare to hide the important information within extraneous stuff because that requires players to pay attention. Even more, they would most definitely never only provide the information once. But, well, I guess that's how the guys at Valve roll. And you know what? I like it. I should have to pay attention when I'm playing a game, especially a puzzle game (admittedly, this is a fairly action oriented puzzle game).
Ironically, it wasn't GLaDOS's dialogue that I liked the most. It was the sentry units. Those things were amazing. I loved their little sing-song voices as they were searching for me, as well as the cries of fear when I picked them up. And, best of all, when I killed them, they forgave me. I mean, how often do you get that? Little childish creatures (well, inanimate objects, anyway) that are having fun trying to kill me, but are self-aware enough to be understanding when they lose the little game we're playing.
The other parts of the game weren't quite as awesome. Obviously, the game mechanic of creating portals is awesome. However, the puzzles were just okay. It really felt like the whole game was teaching me how to use the mechanic, but they forgot the part where they challenge me to come up with cool and clever things do with the game mechanic. They shouldn't teach me every trick they're going to make me use, they should eventually force me to come up with some of my own tricks. After getting out of the test facility, there was only one instance of this happening: a rocket sentry unit that can break glass and then using portals to get his rockets to the glass I want to break...and even this one was just teaching me a new mechanic that I'd use against the last boss.
Admittedly, I think their idea was to give players the opportunity to figure out awesome clever uses for portals with the level challenges (like trying to finish the levels using as few portals as possible), but teaching players to be clever shouldn't require playing the same areas over again. Well, I guess I'll just have to wait for the sequel for more challenging levels (I would love to have levels that require me to think for longer than 40 seconds to beat).
Also, what is up with people's obsession with the Companion Cube? I mean, seriously, how could anyone care about it at all? It's a box. With little pink hearts on it. A female voice tells you that you should love it because it won't hurt you and you use it for a grand total of, maybe 3 minutes, and somehow you develop some kind of emotional attachment to it? Why? It's just weird. Even in the course of using it, it gets all banged up and stuff, so do people mind having to do that to it too? I don't know.
I had a much harder time killing GLaDOS than I had incinerating the cube. By the end of the game, I had developed a relationship with her, not the cube. Admittedly, she's clearly psychotic and quite ready and willing to kill me, but it was a lot harder throwing her pieces into the fire. Especially how each individual piece had it's own personality. I really felt like I wish I could have just thrown away that angry, violent piece and kept the inquisitive and cute one (and, of course the morality one, that one would probably be useful to have around too). But no, I had to destroy her. She didn't deserve it. I wish there were a way I could have explored and eventually found the cake. The tasty cake. I was glad that, in the end, they revealed that the cake was not a lie. I just wish I could have shared it with her.
Sorry about that, I got a little sentimental there. I can't help but miss her a little. I was glad to know that she's still alive and doing science.
So, yeah, that's my reaction to Portal. Good job guys. Next time, can you add in the ability to actually throw objects? I really missed it.
That is all.
Francis
PS - What was the deal with the random scratchings in the office walls about jellyfish? I didn't really understand that part. Unless, maybe it's because GLaDOS is kind of shaped like a jellyfish, so the office workers referred to her as the jellyfish (and when she started killing them, they started referring to her as the bad jellyfish...). Hmm, food for thought, indeed.
I mean, I feel like some of the praise might have gone a little far, but it was certainly well done. For one, the writing really was top-notch. Definitely no argument there. I couldn't help but hang on to every single word GLaDOS said. In true Half-Life style, all the story is told during the gameplay, which would make the style more like Shadow of the Colossus than Assassin's Creed. Admittedly, since it's a first person shooter, I guess it's more of a hybrid since you get both player control and camera control (since they're one and the same), however, I'll say that it's closer to Shadow of the Colossus since the concept is closer to that one (retaining control of the player's eyes).
But the important thing was the words she was saying. It was beautifully extraneous, and yet perfectly relevant. Little morsels of information within tons of...well, talking. This is just about the opposite of most games' writing. They either separate important information from the filler or they don't bother with filler at all (my favorite is when they highlight important words, so the player can just read those). Nobody would dare to hide the important information within extraneous stuff because that requires players to pay attention. Even more, they would most definitely never only provide the information once. But, well, I guess that's how the guys at Valve roll. And you know what? I like it. I should have to pay attention when I'm playing a game, especially a puzzle game (admittedly, this is a fairly action oriented puzzle game).
Ironically, it wasn't GLaDOS's dialogue that I liked the most. It was the sentry units. Those things were amazing. I loved their little sing-song voices as they were searching for me, as well as the cries of fear when I picked them up. And, best of all, when I killed them, they forgave me. I mean, how often do you get that? Little childish creatures (well, inanimate objects, anyway) that are having fun trying to kill me, but are self-aware enough to be understanding when they lose the little game we're playing.
The other parts of the game weren't quite as awesome. Obviously, the game mechanic of creating portals is awesome. However, the puzzles were just okay. It really felt like the whole game was teaching me how to use the mechanic, but they forgot the part where they challenge me to come up with cool and clever things do with the game mechanic. They shouldn't teach me every trick they're going to make me use, they should eventually force me to come up with some of my own tricks. After getting out of the test facility, there was only one instance of this happening: a rocket sentry unit that can break glass and then using portals to get his rockets to the glass I want to break...and even this one was just teaching me a new mechanic that I'd use against the last boss.
Admittedly, I think their idea was to give players the opportunity to figure out awesome clever uses for portals with the level challenges (like trying to finish the levels using as few portals as possible), but teaching players to be clever shouldn't require playing the same areas over again. Well, I guess I'll just have to wait for the sequel for more challenging levels (I would love to have levels that require me to think for longer than 40 seconds to beat).
Also, what is up with people's obsession with the Companion Cube? I mean, seriously, how could anyone care about it at all? It's a box. With little pink hearts on it. A female voice tells you that you should love it because it won't hurt you and you use it for a grand total of, maybe 3 minutes, and somehow you develop some kind of emotional attachment to it? Why? It's just weird. Even in the course of using it, it gets all banged up and stuff, so do people mind having to do that to it too? I don't know.
I had a much harder time killing GLaDOS than I had incinerating the cube. By the end of the game, I had developed a relationship with her, not the cube. Admittedly, she's clearly psychotic and quite ready and willing to kill me, but it was a lot harder throwing her pieces into the fire. Especially how each individual piece had it's own personality. I really felt like I wish I could have just thrown away that angry, violent piece and kept the inquisitive and cute one (and, of course the morality one, that one would probably be useful to have around too). But no, I had to destroy her. She didn't deserve it. I wish there were a way I could have explored and eventually found the cake. The tasty cake. I was glad that, in the end, they revealed that the cake was not a lie. I just wish I could have shared it with her.
Sorry about that, I got a little sentimental there. I can't help but miss her a little. I was glad to know that she's still alive and doing science.
So, yeah, that's my reaction to Portal. Good job guys. Next time, can you add in the ability to actually throw objects? I really missed it.
That is all.
Francis
PS - What was the deal with the random scratchings in the office walls about jellyfish? I didn't really understand that part. Unless, maybe it's because GLaDOS is kind of shaped like a jellyfish, so the office workers referred to her as the jellyfish (and when she started killing them, they started referring to her as the bad jellyfish...). Hmm, food for thought, indeed.
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