Saturday, August 11, 2007

That Linkin Park song...

So, Linkin Park's first single off whatever their new CD is called is "Bleed It Out". You might have heard it on the radio. Stranger things have happened at least.

My initial reaction to the song: wow, oh my god, I can't believe they are so lame that they need to recycle lines from previous songs.

Then I was like:
"Wait! Maybe they are super-cool and this is one of those totally meta things where they reference their old songs as a way to say something new or at least play with the themes from their catalog in new and exciting ways."

Then the song ended. Then, magically, it started again, only they just sang the chorus about 5 more times and the song ended for real. At this point, I started coming up with a new theory for the repeated lines...

[Cue dreamy music cut to music studio as Linkin Park members are working on their soon-to-be-next-super-hit, Bleed It Out]

Dude that Screams: Guys, we really need to come up with a super hit song for this new CD. Can't we come up with anything like Numb?

Dude that Raps: Man, I hate Numb, I don't get to do anything in it.

Techno Dude: Well, we certainly can't do any more songs like One Step Closer because all the 13-year old girls that listen to us probably won't like it.

Someone in the band who actually plays an instrument: Well, how about In The End? Even my mom liked that song.

Dude that Screams: Hmm, not a bad idea. It definitely does make more sense to rip off our first CD since it's probably been longer since anyone bothered to actually listen to a song on it.

Techno Dude: Man, that CD was so ridiculously awesome. I wish we hadn't used every single good idea we had on it, though.

Dude that Raps: Hey man, it earned us, what, like the 2nd best selling album of the year?

Dude that Screams: Yeah man, I can't believe we lost to that soundtrack to that stupid George Clooney movie.

Techno Dude: Fuckin' George Clooney and his fucking constant sorrow.

Someone in the band who actually plays an instrument: Man, George Clooney wasn't even singing that song.

Techno Dude: Yeah, but people thought it was him. And, seriously, how is anyone supposed to be able to compete with George Clooney singing. Totally not fair.

Dude that Screams: Wait! What if we stole from that song? That constant sorrow line is definitely emo enough and I would totally be able to scream it into the mike.

Dude that Raps: Hell no. Man, I want to actually do something on our next hit song. Besides, people might notice. I think we should write a song about how we have no clue what to write anymore and it's only a matter of time before we're gone from the music scene at this point anyways.

Dude that Screams: Okay, fine. But how do we disguise the message? I assume a song like: "We're running out of things to write" wouldn't go over too well.

Dude that Raps: Don't worry, I've totally got it covered. All I need is for Techno Dude to supply a really fast beat so that the average listener won't really be able to hear what I'm saying anyways, and I'll just make it up as I go along.

[A couple hours later...]

Dude that Raps: Alright, I was only able to come up with about a verse and a half. It's pretty much about dying, I hope that's close enough to what we were thinking.

Someone who actually plays an instrument: Um, so how are we planning to finish the verse?

Dude that Raps: Well, I was thinking about just stealing "Doesn't matter how hard I try" from In The End. I mean, seriously, anything can rhyme with try and it'll reinforce that theme of: shit, we don't know what we're doing anymore.

Dude that Screams: Ha, it'll be even better if you deliver it the same way so that it totally sticks out in the middle of the song and doesn't make any sense.

Techno Guy: Seriously, that would be totally awesome.

Someone who actually plays an instrument: I guess that'll work...

[Everyone records and it's just about done...]

Producer Guy: Um, you guys, we have a problem.

Dude that Screams: What's that? I thought we were almost done.

Producer Guy: Well, because we're using this fast beat and there's only two verses, this song is currently like, almost two minutes long. I don't think radio super-hits are typically quite that short (unless you're the White Stripes, which you're not).

Dude that Screams: I've got this. How many times would I need to sing the chorus to get us up to the three minute mark?

Producer Guy: Um, well, about four times.

Dude that Screams: Perfect. I'll just scream the chorus three more times and we can have a long exit.

Producer Guy: Well, should we get back in and record it with the extra choruses?

Dude that Screams: Nah, don't even bother. We can just tack the extra screaming on after the first end so we don't waste anymore time.

[Fade back to me...]

I like to think that's about how it all came about. Sheer laziness (with just a little bit of the meta self awareness going on as well). I can respect that.


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